A Day in Hell

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon...

Demon: Why so glum?chum?
Guy:?What do you think??I'm in hell.
Demon:?Hell's not so bad.?We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin' man?
Guy:?Sure,?I love to drink.?Love the drinks.
Demon:?Well you're gonna love Mondays then.?On?Mondays that's all we do is drink.?Whiskey,?tequila,?Guinness,?wine coolers,?diet tab, and fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy:?Gee爐hat sounds great.

Demon:?You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it!?Love the smoking.
Demon:?Alright!?You're gonna love Tuesdays.?We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out.?If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember?
Guy:?Wow...that's...awesome!

Demon:?I bet you like to gamble.
Guy:?Why?yes?as a matter of fact?I do.?Love the gambling.
Demon:?Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want.?Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever...?If you go Bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow.

Demon:牋 You into drugs?
Guy:?Are you kidding??Love drugs! You don't mean...
Demon:?That's right!?Thursday is drug day.?Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack.?Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want燼nd if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares!?O.D.!!
Guy:?Yowza!?I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!!

Demon: You gay?
Guy:?Uh?no.

Demon:?Ooooh?(grimaces) you're really gonna hate Fridays.